Why I Never Wanted To Work for a Law Firm

This borders on sadistic and it is pretty idiotic too...

Anonymous Lawyer

I just got back from the summer associate paintball event we held this evening. We split them up into two teams and told them the winning team gets to have a free-for-all shooting their extra paintballs at the secretaries. It wasn't easy to get the secretaries to come down on Saturday, especially to get shot with paintballs, but we found some good ways to incent them (food). Paintball's a good event. Paintball is a lot like the practice of corporate law. Paintballs travel at around 200 miles an hour, and associates charge their time to clients at around 200 dollars an hour. Players hide behind bunkers to avoid getting hit. Just like clients hide behind lawyers like us to avoid getting held accountable for their actions. In paintball, you wear protective goggles. In court, you wear a suit. In paintball, one side wins, one side loses, but regardless, you all end up covered in paint. In the cases our associates work on, one side wins, one side loses, but regardless, you all end up in the document room. Paintball isn't fun, the summers are only doing it because we're making them, and they know we're watching them and judging their performance. Just like in the office.